Conference Elite... now open for recruitment!
The Gates of Hell have opened for the first time in years... Eve's most elite PVP corporation is now recruiting.
Let me repeat that.
The most badass and efficient ganking crew in the entire game, The Conference Elite, is looking for new wrecking balls to join their team of bot aspirant demolishers.
Droves of gankers and scrubs alike have already applied; will you make the cut? Probably not. Then again, maybe you do have what it takes to deliver justice to Highsec alongside the game's most powerful content-generating corporation. If you think you might have what it takes, apply here.
-Rabe Raptor, New Order Knight and Conference Elite Diplomat
The EVE wiki entry about getting podded starts as follows: "It is very likely in some point of your eve career that your pod will be destroyed." What it fails to mention is that it is even more likely your pod will be destroyed if you fly it through New Order space without a permit.
Autopiloting is the best way to ask to get podded, though conducting any other illegal activities will wind up getting your capsule blapped equally as fast. You see, we here in the New Order do not tolerate criminal behavior and we've a legion of a heroes ready to respond to teach known terrorists that crime doesn't pay.
CODE. diplomat DJentropy Ovaert is such a hero. In fact, he's more than that: he's a leader of heroes. DJ has put out the call to arms; he has created a contest rewarding those who can find and destroy the most valuable pods. DJ himself as well as many other noble benefactors who donated prizes have put the total pool up to over 3 billion isk, 3 PLEX, and a variety of ships including a Machariel, a navy cruiser, a Rattlesnake, and many others to be split over the top 10 entries as well as a few bonus entries (such as the funniest kill and the best tear mail in response to a podkill).
Some of the most common phrases uttered by butthurt carebears are the variants on "You only fight stuff that can't shoot back" or "You only gank in highsec because if you were out in low/null/WH, you'd get your asses kicked!" Its such a popular remark that it made its way onto Carebear Bingo.
This however, turned out to be joke of the century.
You see, lately we've been running a lot of roams and gatecamps out in Black Rise, in Gallente FW space (that's lowsec for you carebears in the crowd). I've never killed so much and lost so little in my entire Eve career (and with barely any coordination; at least no coordination comparable to the amount required by freighter ganking) . Actually that's putting it gently; we've been slaughtering stuff by the billions and we haven't even lost a single ship in the few days we've been out here. Its hilarious- and do you want to know what half of the guys we've been vaporizing have been saying? "Go back to highsec, CODE."
Let me repeat that again. The bot aspirants we gank in highsec tearfully dare us to try lowsec, and when we do, the local lowsec inhabitants tearfully demand we go back to highsec. Ironically, despite the killboards being filled with billions of ISK of ships destroyed in lowsec per day, most carebears that I encounter in highsec laugh at me for "refusing to shoot at anything that shoots back". I point them towards a killboard and they simply tell us that we are trolls and griefers and that obviously our killboards are just inflated somehow. I actually had a carebear today insist that we were falsely engineering our killboards by loading up friendly ships full of items with inflated values and blowing them up. I lol'd.
Ever since winning the Alliance Tournament, carebears seem to be extra sure of this untruth. I understand their burning desire to cling to this belief. I really do. It would mean the last shred of their dignity is validated: the idea that their superiors who so frequently dominate them have superiors of their own. Sadly for the carebear community, its simply not true, and their dignity is equally as hollow. We've been wrecking everyone we meet in lowsec too.
What's next? Nullsec? Unlikely (we hate TiDi). I know, I know... I can hear it now. We're too scared! Luckily for me, I'm playing Bingo and my board just keeps filling up with tears. Sweet, delicious tears.
-Rabe Raptor, New Order Knight